Rescued

I woke up this morning in need of family. I didn't realize it, but I did. The sky was grey (again), the house felt empty (still) and I felt panicky at the prospect of twenty years of my life floating by in this manner - laundry, neediness, dissatisfaction. Days like these come upon me every so often and I don't understand them. I feel irrationally grouchy, depressed and overwhelmed. I tell myself truths all day long, trying to feel a little lighter. I try to accept the state I'm in as a valid experience that I don't need to chase away. I try to pray, I try to write, I usually just want to sleep.
So today, I felt like this and India, my dream, was being the sweetest two-year-old imaginable. Until, sitting on my bed naked while I ran to her room for her clothes, she peed all over my mattress. I just about lost it. There were tears all around and I actually had to put India in the living room (still crying) while I THREW her stuffed animals, books and the clean, folded laundry off of my bed to strip and clean it. And India wouldn't stop crying. I held her and tickled her and India wouldn't stop crying. I left her on her own, I spoke sternly, I spoke kindly, and India wouldn't stop crying.
Into this mess walks my sister and her four year old. I almost cried from the relief of seeing another adult. She helped me clean up the mess, made tea and we all had lunch together. My calm returned, India played with her cousin and I got to vent to my sister. I needed family, a friend to look out for me, to shake her head and say, "I know. It's so hard when they scream like that."
This is a poorly written entry I realize. I'm tired and I about to have a nap on the dry half of my bed. I just wanted to write before I forget again what a blessing my family is, how it's alright for me to need people, to remember what it feels like to be rescued so I can be on the look out for the distressed.