India Sophia

My best little buddy turned three today.

I love that kid of mine so much, it makes my heart squeeze tight in panic and release in joy, all at the same time.

On Monday, I was working on some writing about our trip - thinking of how when I try to teach her to pray, she looks around and tells me, "God isn't here, momma." I tell her that "God is love. God is here," and I realized, as I wrote about how she snuggles in tight to me at night, about how she puts her warm little palms against my cheeks, about how my touch and voice and smell make her feel safe, that I am God to her right now. I hold God's love for her, in my skin, dishing it out in everyday portions.

God is here, my little love: sleeping beside you, reading you stories, washing your hair, wiping your hands, listening to your chatter, answering your questions, blowing your nose, kissing your lips. Tonight, and tomorrow, and for the few years I have to hold you, Christ has brown hair and freckles and crooked front teeth and turns when you say, "Momma".