oh, come read this, come read this. i am WILLING you right now to come read this.
university of iowa just called to say they would really like it if i joined their writing program next year. UNIVERSITY OF FREAKIN' IOWA!!!!!!!!
holy, holy, holy smokes. holy smokes. i applied there on a whim, never thinking i would ever make it in. IOWA! you know, iowa - the holy grail of writing schools, iowa. oh you. oh you. i can't believe it. iowa. oh, i had to tell you.
of course it was good, you big fat bum. i'll put it back up tomorrow - i'm at work right now.
hey, also, do you remember which birds i gave you when we first started writing and you named me nester and i gave you birds in return? was it the "B" section?
i can't do it. i re-read what i wrote and it sounds like i'm vomiting my troubles all over you. basically, some really bad things went down with my family a couple weeks ago, i missed you like mad and felt sad about the way things are, and some jerk at church wanted to date me and was mean and hurt my feelings when i said no. that's it in a nutshell. i thought quiting my blog might help me feel better.
i don't really know why i ridded the blog. it helped. whatever "it" was. and i'm glad i did.
tonight i talked about you, for the first time in a long time. all the things of you and about you that i hoped and wished for and never knew, and i said them plum outloud to a friend, like you were right there in the room. and all at once it was treelike and bold, then again it was flamelike and throbbing.
i hope you are well, even when i know you are well, beyond your knowing at times. and honestly, so often, i can hear us calling back and forth over the breeze.
i miss you so much. do you know how much i miss you? still.
i have a map in my room. I put my finger on where you are and i imagine my prayers for you shooting through the air, sitting with you, talking with you and blessing your dear head. this isn't what i wanted, but it still feels like a gift to be with you like that.
24 comments:
Have fun! Don't forget to treat yourself extra special, you deserve it.
Have a blast!!
I hope you're having the greatest time.
Hope you & India are having a wonderful time!
thanks, ladies! it was terrific!
the one of you driving was always my favorite.
it's the look on your face that always got to me. you were out there. in the car, but out there. and i loved that. you.
i love you.
i miss you.
you'd better, dear man, because i don't think i could manage this burden of missing alone.
oh, come read this, come read this. i am WILLING you right now to come read this.
university of iowa just called to say they would really like it if i joined their writing program next year.
UNIVERSITY OF FREAKIN' IOWA!!!!!!!!
holy, holy, holy smokes.
holy smokes. i applied there on a whim, never thinking i would ever make it in. IOWA! you know, iowa - the holy grail of writing schools, iowa. oh you. oh you. i can't believe it. iowa.
oh, i had to tell you.
i love it. i totally love it. do it! fuck yeah!
and keep willing me. i'm often willing you.
oh. you have no idea.
this lack of contact stands as a testimony to how much i love you.
make no mistake.
i just read about your shirt.
you, my dear friend, are an anchor set deep in hope.
hey! hey! i'm still at the same address. will be for quite awhile. ages, i presume.
why are you cutting off your site?
i don't know what to say.
i'm going to bed.
http://www.villageindian.com/chadvangaalen_SingMeToSleep.mp3
hey,
i needed to take that one down.
be well, friend.
for the record, i did not see what you took down. i wish i had. perhaps you said something good. i don't know. i missed by a day or more.
of course it was good, you big fat bum. i'll put it back up tomorrow - i'm at work right now.
hey, also, do you remember which birds i gave you when we first started writing and you named me nester and i gave you birds in return? was it the "B" section?
hey,
i can't do it. i re-read what i wrote and it sounds like i'm vomiting my troubles all over you. basically, some really bad things went down with my family a couple weeks ago, i missed you like mad and felt sad about the way things are, and some jerk at church wanted to date me and was mean and hurt my feelings when i said no.
that's it in a nutshell. i thought quiting my blog might help me feel better.
hey, why did you get rid of your blog?
i don't really know why i ridded the blog. it helped. whatever "it" was. and i'm glad i did.
tonight i talked about you, for the first time in a long time. all the things of you and about you that i hoped and wished for and never knew, and i said them plum outloud to a friend, like you were right there in the room. and all at once it was treelike and bold, then again it was flamelike and throbbing.
i hope you are well, even when i know you are well, beyond your knowing at times. and honestly, so often, i can hear us calling back and forth over the breeze.
i miss you so much. do you know how much i miss you? still.
i have a map in my room. I put my finger on where you are and i imagine my prayers for you shooting through the air, sitting with you, talking with you and blessing your dear head.
this isn't what i wanted, but it still feels like a gift to be with you like that.
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