Today, I had a tour of the group home that I'm going to be working in. It's in the middle of being repainted so it was all couches in the middle of the room and pictures off the wall and mess, mess, mess, but it feels more "family" than I expected. There are five kids living in it - nine to fifteen years old. Today we went over medications, how to deal with physical aggression, to count all of the knives and cutlery at the start of every shift and how to turn on the alarms so I can hear when the kids sneak out of their rooms.
Yah.
I'm a little scared, (what if I'm a flop?) but I really want to do this. I saw pictures of the kids today (I meet them all tomorrow) and they look like such babies. Babies, and living without their mommas. I don't have any illusions of their innocence or sweetness and fully expect them to drive me bonkers and maybe scare me shitless, but still, they're just babies.
I hope I can get out of my way enough to love them.
Is that too naive?
5 comments:
I don't believe it's naive, but I do think that you may have to come back to this post in weeks to come when the job may hit some challenges. I hope that this entry will rekindle that hope and dedication. You'll be wonderful. I know it. You have a very giving and compassionate nature. : )
Congrats!
Thanks.
I think when the job hits the inevitable challenges, I should pull out the case reports for the kids and reread them instead. I've been crying on and off for three hours. I'm tired. I don't mean to be melodramatic. Or self-serving. I hope I'm not being self-serving. I think I should go to bed.
I don't think anything should be thought about (and think you'll remain objective) at 1:24am. Hope you're feeling better.
Jodi, Ohhhhhh. Sooooo tired. Good but tired. These late shifts are going to be tough.
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