Tuesday, May 22, 2007

And My Shoes Are Size Nine

I've been feeling kind of sick of God. I've done so much reading, so much writing, so much thinking about God lately that it felt like my head was going to crack open and spill wiggly, wormy, half-grown God-thoughts on the carpet. But, I was just reading a collection of Henri Nouwen's writing on prayer and I realized, I'm not sick of God, I'm sick of me. God's been looking like me, sounding like me, feeling like me, hell, even smelling like me lately. And, you know, God looks good in my dress, but my shoes are much too small for her.

16 comments:

Cherie said...

Wiggle wormy half grown God thoughts. Kind of ewww, but I know what you mean.

In wisdom you recognize the absurd. Pull those shoes off - let her be.

Annie said...

hi. we've never met, but i found your site off leisel's blog and i just wanted to say that i resonate with this. nicely put

Angela said...

cherie, i know, i know. i've got some pretty hot heels, though.

annie, thanks for stopping in! leisel's blog is such fun, and i keep running into great people through it.
p.s.
i wish my name was annie. i'm envious.

Ann said...

Hmm...I left a message earlier-- at least I thought I did! Oh well, it's been that kind of week. I'll try again: I like this post, probably because it helped me realize that I've been sort of sick of myself, too.

Angela said...

ann, i'm selfish and glad that i'm not the only one who posts a comment and then can't find it!
here's to a kinder week on all accounts.

Deadmanshonda said...

Oh man you know JUST how to phrase things in such a way that I not only step back and reevaluate what I'm thinking but ALSO in a way that I want to roll your words around in my head over and over again...I can't wait for your book to come out. All sixty of them waiting to be purchased by me. ;)Thanks for writing.

Oh- and I'm glad Annie found your blog. She's one of the cooler girls I've ever known and I'm sad to say I've waited for the blogosphere to bond with her. I think you two would like each other.

Angela said...

thanks for the kind words, leisel, and, of course, for sharing your friends. i'm such a sucker for cool girls!

Ann said...

Well. It's one thing for you to be thought-provoking when I'm at my computer. But you may've sidled into my bedtime brain, what's left of it. At your leisure, check me out today (Friday).

Angela said...

bedtime brain. yes. aka banana brain in my household.

cecily said...

I love Henri Nouwen. I love your writing. Almost as much as Henri Nouwen's (because I've known him longer of course)

Angela said...

cecily, i feel the need to absolve you. go in peace with your preference. nouwen is hot.

Cherie said...

I want to read some Henri Nouwen, but don't know where to start. You and Cecily have any suggestions? Thanks!

Angela said...

cherie,
all my books are still in storage from our house fire so i'm wracking my brain trying to remember titles here, um, "the way of the heart" was the first book i read and i LOVED it.
"the inner voice of love" was also good - very intimate and vulnerable.
"with open hands" was full of short, meditative pieces, really nice for a quick fix (but the photos are kind of dated and so make the book feel a little less significant than it really is).
"reaching out" the first half was terrific, then it got a little dull, and then terrific again.

that's all i can think of for now. hope it helps get you started!

Cherie said...

It helps me get started, and I can't wait!

Thank you!

cecily said...

Cherie, I've only read a couple of Henri Nouwens books. They are outrageously expensive here and I've promised myself that one day I will buy them all. I can't remember one of them I've read (but the cover is cream with a maroon border if that helps!!!). The other is called "The Wounded Healer" and I love that image...

Virtual Methodist said...

Bit of a man free zone here... but I'll leave my tuppence worth anyway. Suffice to say, tripped over your blog while posting my own comment on Nouwen's "With Open Hands" and all I can say, that God doesn't look any better in the clothes of a 40 something Irish Methodist minister either...